Thanks Giving

Every year as Thanksgiving approaches I become much more aware and reflective of all that I am thankful for and all of our blessings. I definitely try and keep this in mind all year round but there is a definite increase in the time spent thinking about it towards this holiday season. I was going to try and write something intelligent and eloquent regarding giving thanks for all of our blessings but my brain is just not functioning at that level right now so a few simple words will have to do. The fact is that I feel overwhelmingly grateful for my blessings this year. This year especially I feel so grateful and blessed more and more each day just witnessing the things around me. There are so many hard and terrible things happening each day to many many people and that brings more sincere and deep gratefulness for the blessings which I receive on a day to day basis. Seeing people going through things that I can't imagine going through makes me truly appreciate things that I sometimes take for granted. Having a home, a car, a bed at night when I am so tired, healthy parents, health insurance, schools, and especially this year for my husband having a job. Millions of people around the world don't have these blessings and I wonder why I get the privilege of receiving these blessings.

I truly appreciate all that our Father in Heaven has done for me and done in general. I am so grateful for our Savior and the Atonement and the opportunity that it gives us to repent and try again, repeatedly. Without that knowledge I can see how people would give up and I am so grateful for that in a world that is extremely hard to live in sometimes. I know that being able to have the Spirit with us as a constant companion is one of the greatest blessings we can receive. I am grateful for guidance and instruction for myself and my family through the Spirit and the Gospel. I am very grateful for the opportunity we have to speak to our Father in Heaven through prayer and rely on him. I am grateful to be able to teach my children how to pray and hopefully instill in them what they need to be able to use and rely on the Gospel and their Father in Heaven throughout their life. I definitely don't feel worthy of that calling most of the time but I am so extremely grateful for the opportunity to be a wife and mother. I express in words how full my heart is with gratitude for the blessing of being a mom. It is a very hard and challenging at times but more rewarding and fulfilling than anything else I have ever done. I am so grateful for Olivia, Rachel, and this baby boy who will soon enter our family. Everyday I marvel at these little people and their ability in all that they do. I am also grateful, even though I am truly uncomfortable, that this little guy is still in my belly getting stronger every day. I am so thankful that they are healthy and growing and worry daily that something will happen to them but I am grateful for everyday we have. The blessings of the temple and eternal families is another part of his wonderful plan that brings me peace and comfort in this sometimes scary world. I am so grateful to be sealed to my loving husband for all eternity and that we have forever grow and progress with one another. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me and our children and works as hard as he can to take care of us and keep us safe and happy. I am thankful for great parents who raised me with the gospel and stuck with me through my teenage years! I am grateful to have healthy and safe families and extended families that we get to see often. Although I don't get to live near my family I am so blessed that we have phones, and Internet and planes that are available to us to be able to see one another and stay in touch all the time. We are truly blessed to live near Eric's family and enjoy the blessings of an extended family daily. It is so wonderful to have the blessings of family. They are a wealth of support and love. I'm also grateful for good friends who help me to get through the day to day stuff that sometimes feels overwhelming. I'm sure I could continue to go on for many more paragraphs but I barely got this written with my two wonderful little girls trying to type with me and help them find toys! So I want to thank my Father in Heaven for all that he blesses us with. I am truly thankful this Thanksgiving and I hope that some how I can show that to my children and to our Father in Heaven and use the gifts he sends to us in ways that are pleasing unto him. Happy Thanksgiving!

3 Weeks Left!

I only have 3 weeks left until this little boy makes his appearance! I can't believe it is almost done already. I am really excited for him to get here and see who he looks like and to do the newborn thing again. I don't remember as much as I would like to from when the girls were newborns and I know doing two at once it a different story so I am hoping to be able to remember more this time and just enjoy it. I guess I really have 4 weeks left but I am having a c-section on the 11th so it's down to 3 weeks. Crazy. It went fast, kind of, but I am ready to get him out. I am large and uncomfortable 90% of the time.

34 Weeks

I don't even know if you can see change any more but I have been asked for updated pictures so here they are.

The whole pregnancy so far I have been measuring a few weeks ahead and now I am finally caught up to my actual weeks. I have measured at 36 weeks for the past few visits and now I still do and I am actually there. Hopefully this means not much more growing for me in the next three but we'll see. My shirts seem to be getting smaller still so who knows!

36 Weeks

Just For the Record

I have received some concern as to my well being after my candy/potty/crying post. Just for the record I want to say that I am actually really OK. Of course I would love an hour or two here and there to myself but who wouldn't? Some days test my patients more than others but honestly I am doing just fine and actually enjoying it. I see looking back at some of my posts how it might be hard to think that but I really am enjoying it. There is actually no other place I would rather be and nothing else I'd rather be doing than watching my girls grow up. Everyday they make me laugh 100 times with all the funny stuff they say. I wouldn't want to miss any of it and I am so glad I get to be home with them. They do so many sweet, funny, wonderful things that make up for any frustrations I have. They are so sweet to their baby brother already and try to share their toys with him, by putting them in my belly button. They always check him with their doctor kits, love to act out their Book of Mormon videos, sing, learn new things, and take care of each other. I love watching them learn and grow in so many ways. Everyday they seem to amaze me in some way by something they say or do. I really do love them with all my heart and I am so happy I get to be their mom and to be here with them all the time. I hope they know how much I love them and would be happy to be here with them everyday even if they overflowed the toilet daily!

Halloween

Halloween was so fun this year. The girls got more into it and enjoyed all the Halloween stuff. We actually didn't make it to the pumpkin patch but they still had lots of fun. We carved pumpkins at the beginning of the month with Grandma, Grandpa, and Hannah so we didn't do it again.

Eric took out all his Halloween stuff a week before and the girls like playing with some of it. Livy was more scared than Rachel of stuff especially anything with a noise. Rachel had a special fondness for this remote controlled rat. Creepy looking but she carried it around with her all week like a baby. She called it a "rap" but we got the right name down after a week.

Happy with her rat.

This was more Livy's speed. She like some of the decorations but it took her a while to warm up to them.

Enjoying the beautiful weather outdoors for a picnic lunch. They were riding on the bench of the picnic table like a horse.

Livy put her hat on herself. They were both so happy and had so much fun. I wish Halloween was longer because they absolutely loved it.

Showing you her Thomas costume. Everyone was calling her Thomas all night instead of Livy. After her bath I called her Thomas again and she said "I not Thomas anymore, I Livy."

Happy little Ariel. As you can see we didn't really try the costume on earlier and it was like 5 inches too long. I kept trying to pin it up and every time she would say "That's so you can't see my garments." I was rolling. The Sunday before I pinned the front of my dress together so it wouldn't open up and that is what I told her. Now she associates safety pins and not seeing your garments!

Favorite candy this year: Livy liked Snickers and Rachel like Almond Joy. I have never known a kid who liked that best. An adult once in a while but I don't think I've seen a kid eat them!

Opposites for sure. Livy chose her costume and was set on what she wanted to be. Rachel didn't care to much but was very happy to be Ariel when the time came. Maybe she didn't get what it was for so she didn't care as much when she was picking. Next year she'll know now. Luckily they both loved their costumes and kept them on the whole time.

Cute girls, chubby mom. I did not want my fat face up on the front of the blog but it is the only picture they are both looking and smiling. Sacrifices.

Group shot. They all looked so cute! Sorry no better picture! Before we went out trick or treating we had pizza at our house. We tried our neighborhood but it was a bust so we all left and went other places. It was so fun to see all the kids dresses up together.

Trick or treating in action!

Livy's joy! She absolutely loved it. She was so happy, loved running to the door with all the kids and made sure to hold mine or Eric's hand between houses. We only had to skip one house because it was too scary. They were both so good and loved it. I wish we could have gone more.

At the end daddy held Rachel for a while so we could keep up with the rest of the group. Her outfit was a little hard to walk in. But she loved it so much. She took turns holding my hand and Kevin's hand for a while. She wanted to show Greg all her candy too. She had so much fun and they really wanted to do more. The next day they asked if we could go trick or treating again. I tried to explain only on Halloween and it's a whole year away but luckily they forgot about it a while later, though still wore their costumes again around the house for a bit. I'm already excited for next year for them to get to do all the fun stuff again!

Up and Down

I feel absolutely crazy some days. I'm sure that being pregnant is making me hormonal but I have been totally fine up until this point. So I think it is the staying home all the time cabin fever that is adding to my craziness. Some days I just want to cry all day, usually I can hold it in until night time though. And who knows what it's about, just about anything. I get so sad that I yell at the girls or get mad at them when they don't listen. And I get mad when they have their horrible days at using the potty but I know that I can't really get mad at them for that so then I get even for upset because I can't not get mad. And around in a circle it goes. There are other things too, like husband frustrations too, but who doesn't deal with all of this. I used to be able to all the time with out crying about it. Anyway.....

one night I was a crying mess and just in a bad, sad, depressed mood. The next day I felt great. Lots of energy and feeling good. At nap time I started cleaning and got a bunch done, including just cleaning all the bathrooms, and was feeling pretty good. Make dinner, just getting it on the table and Rachel walks out with no pants on. Accident #1. Wet clothes in the garbage can (don't know why she does this) and a puddle of pee on the floor in my newly cleaned bathroom. Clean it up. Going to find Livy to go to the potty. She pees on the floor as I am walking to get her. Accident #2. Another puddle. Clean it up. Finally sit to eat dinner. Clean up dinner. It's too quite. Accident #3. Rachel pooped in her pants and didn't tell us. "I can do it all by myself now." She has poo smeared down to her knees from taking off her own pants and all over the toilet seat. Wiped herself too. With half a roll of toilet paper. Eric thinks it will flush so we try it. No such luck. Watch out, here it comes. All over the clean, only peed on once, bathroom floor and into the hallway. Does this explain the picture above yet? After the cleaning of Rachel and the bathroom again I had to unwind with at least ten candy bars. I think it was actually more but that is all you can see in the picture. But I didn't cry that night. So I guess chocolate is the answer for now. I'll be crying in a few months when I try to lose this extra candy weight. Update: Since then I have tried going out more and it has helped for sure. I feel more normal.I don't need as much candy and haven't had a crying depressed afternoon/night! And the potty training is still up and down but possibly taking a step in the right direction!

Cross Country Visitors

Last week my brother Charlie and his girlfriend Michelle started their trip driving from New York to California. We are in the middle so we got to have some visitors for a day! It was so good to have them here and begged them to stay longer but they needed to get going. They only got to stay for a day but it was a good break from being in the car!

This picture is a good example of Rachel's excitement to have them here, well mostly Charlie, sorry Michelle! She has an obsession with the Psillos men. When Richie was here it was him, when Grandpa is here it is him. Whoever is around is her favorite person. She followed Charlie every where and had to talk to him constantly. It was adorable! She waited outside the bathroom for him when he showered, always wanted to be with him and if he wasn't in the same room she was asking everyone where he was. It is quite funny when you witness it.

It was a short visit but we had a good time together. We went to Meyer park and fed the ducks/rat things there. We all had a good laugh with that as one tried to sneak up on Michelle! We are really glad you guys came this way and got to stop here for a day! See you at Christmas! Love you guys!